What if Powerful Leadership Is Less About Solving Problems and More About Taking Notice?
Content warning: This story includes references to suicide and may be distressing to some readers. If you or someone you know is struggling, please consider seeking help from a trusted friend, family member, or professional resource.
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He was a young husband and family man.
The day had started off normally, as most mornings tend to do, with the reasonable expectation that the people leaving the house in the morning would be the same people returning home in the evening.
Except that day was different.
He lost his family in a terrible traffic accident that day. He was lost.
He decided to end it all.
His plan had him returning to the North Shore near Duluth, Minnesota where he had grown up, finding a deserted rocky beach, walking out into Lake Superior and not coming back
...and here he was...
...sitting on the North Shore, after drinking all day, realizing that he was moments away from ending his pain forever.
No one knew he was here. He would just disappear.
He started walking into the lake, feeling the chilly water overcoming him. Then he found himself collapsing back on the beach, sobbing uncontrollably and blacking out.
He tells the story...
The next thing he remembers is waking up to a beautiful, early morning sunrise. Still lying on the same rocky beach where he fell. Only he was covered with a thick woolen blanket. Next to him was a thermos of hot coffee... and a note.
It read, “The lake will heal you.”
He still has the note... and his story that he shares with those that feel lost.
Duluth is a gritty, shipping port, a working town, with a sense of community that we should all envy.
When he stood up from those rocks on that bright, shiny morning, he found a new sense of purpose.
Someone... some stranger had cared for him. Cared about him. He was inspired. He felt a clear conviction. He needed to give back.
He did the only thing he was good at. He cooked. For his community.
His dedication to fresh, locally sourced food, innovative recipes, and selfless giving has helped energize and define an entire restaurant community in Duluth.
The blanket, coffee, note?
What? Who? How did they. . .?
All good questions.
A simple act... still rippling.
Inexplicably beautiful and profound.
In our June High-Performance Insights Newsletter, we left off asking ourselves:
Can leadership feel less like burnout and more like belonging?
Can performance feel less like pressure and more like momentum?
Can we stop managing people like problems – and start aligning them to what they do best?
What stays with me from the Duluth Story is not the mystery of who the mysterious benefactor was, but the belonging their action created. Someone had been there. Someone had seen him at his lowest and chosen not to walk away. They didn’t fix him. They didn’t direct him. They simply made him feel he mattered. Leadership starts there: not with control, but with noticing.
One of the interesting dynamics I’ve noticed in working with CEOs is that many of them think differently than most of us. While we tend to zero in on tasks — assigning work, fixing problems, driving solutions — they pause and ask something else: “How do I want others to respond?”
That shift changes everything. Leadership isn’t about fixing every problem; it’s about creating the conditions where people feel noticed, trusted, and empowered to contribute. When leaders do this, they build more than output — they build resilience, commitment and resolve.
That’s leadership. What do you think happens to us when we focus on inspiring others and when we focus on how we want them to respond, instead of how we respond?
Sometimes the most powerful thing a leader can do is step back and create space for others to rise. In our story, that was a blanket, a thermos of coffee, a note.
In a business setting, it could be delegating responsibility, giving credit for good work, or making room at the table.
Delegating real responsibility helps shape the environment.
Just like the stranger on the beach didn’t direct or fix, leaders can shift dynamics by shaping the environment. The questions you ask, the agendas you set, the tone you model — these shape choices more than demands ever will.
How leaders frame the decision matters. Delegation works best when leaders explain why the decision matters and then stay out of the way. The weight signals trust, but the clarity prevents chaos.
Giving credit for good work isn’t only recognition.
It’s the foundation of trust. In tough negotiations or high-stakes conversations, people are more willing to follow your lead if they’ve felt seen along the way.
It is more than morale-building. It builds performance. People bring forward stronger ideas when they know their effort will be seen and named. Recognition also shifts culture: peers stop competing for attention and start elevating each other.
Making room at the table isn’t symbolic.
The voice you almost left out may see the blind spot that keeps everyone else from stumbling.
Sometimes it’s literal — pulling a quieter voice into the meeting.
Other times it’s structural — redesigning who gets to shape strategy.
What we notice and how we allow others to respond- matters. It’s powerful leadership.
The person who left the blanket, coffee and note never stepped forward, but their action altered the course of a life and helped shape a community and culture.
A simple act... still rippling. Inexplicably beautiful and profound.